Legal help ASAP

I have been paying child support to my ex husband thrugh the child support collection agency. since the year 2000. i had a good job then so I was able to send a good amount to them. Right after I lost custody my ex husband and his wife refused to let me have any contact with my sons. I had a breakdown went into the hospital, then friends let me stay with them in another state 6 hours from my sons. I have tried along with my family tried to contact my sons. In the year 2005 I found out my son was in the marines. At that time I had gotten skin cancer 3 times as well as heart problems so I was unable to go back to court in Queens Ny to file za modification of child support. As soon as I was able I went to stay with a family member to start the proceedings. That was in Nov of 2007. It took 2 years to finally get my ex in court because he was avoiding the process servers papers. My income consisted of only SSd and 35% pension of his when he retired. Also CSCA was allowed to take out a % for child support. The rest went into arrears. My question. is. I also found out that my younger son too is in the marines. I did contact the marines on proof of the both of their emansipation. Also to despertly try to contact my sons. What do I do with this arrears? My ex husband was wrong to collect any monies from me. Will the judge help me in this. For I am in the middle of a court date. On Jan 28th. Please if anyone can help me I truely Thank You and ask for God's blessings.