My first question has to be, was there ever an order through the court for child support?


If you answer my question, then I can easily answer yours.

Because I was afraid of this person (who threatened to kill me and reported to family members that I had died and he had the baby), I avoided any legal action, left the state and cut off all lines of communication with him. He had attempted suicide with a lightbulb two weeks after the baby was born. The smartest thing for me to do was get as far away as possible, and I don't regret what I did for a minute. When he found a second victim to marry and con, he sent a request for a divorce through the channel of my parents, which I did. It mentioned my child, but no statement about support. Nonetheless, a parent is always responsible for the support of the child. I am not interested in investing a lot of energy chasing down a deadbeat who is probably unemployed now, I was mostly interested in whether there were any statute of limitations on their original financial responsibility. I'm sure I could have had a field day in court with him, if that's the route I wanted to take. I mostly wanted to avoid being the topic of an Ann Rule murder story, or a Lifetime Woman on the Run Movie.

You know i would file for it or have your son due it probably be better if you did this just to see if you can due this you'll have to go to the support enforcement office near you to file it but you god the same rights as anybody else to require on getting support

Thanks...I guess enough dust has settled that I can do it at some point in the near future.

I am sorry for your situation, but I will say this, since there was no child support order in effect it will be very difficult to now try to go back for child support. I feel for the situation and understand how frustrated you must be, and absolutely agree it is both parents responsibility to support their children. But I would say you will more than likely find yourself spending thousands of dollars to receive nothing.

Remember this though, your son is his heir, so at the time of his death would be legally able to step in and fight for his share of anything the man had.

You are better off without this man in your life and the fact that you sacrificed your own luxuries to raise your child in a safe environment is far better than anything this man would have given you.

The doctrine of laches would prevent you from now FILING for child support, as MO-MAMMA as correctly suggested, and for which softbabe44 has no clue - ever.

Laches means, essentially, that you have slept on your rights.

Beyond that, almost all states have statutory provisions that disallow the establishment of paternity beyond the age of 18 or 19. Paternity is NOT established until court makes that determination and BEFORE entering an award of child support.

It IS rather odd that you write that you "were married at the time", but did not mention anything about taking any reasonable steps to participate in your divorce, which should have resulted in a custody and child support order.

In any event, without an order, or without a JUDGMENT for past due child support, there is nothing to be done about it now, or or whenever after the dust has settled.

Thank you P-Bred... I feel a bit better now..

You are welcome.

Unfortunately, softbabe44 just keeps rolling along, either oblivious about what she writes, or - like others here - shrewdly working the system with little or no effort, or even knowledge.

Yeah, I wonder sometimes why she is even allowed on here...

Well, it is a free country, and there is no vetting of members, either for credentials or knowledge. Usually, the process is self-weeding, but some weeds are more resistant than others.

Peanutbred...this was a curiosity of mine, fortunately the child in question is now extremely successful and independent. He doesn't need the money. I wasn't sure if I had any right to go after this guy. I was less interested in a divorce and more interested in having ZERO contact with a mentally imbalanced guy who held a knife to my throat, threatened my life and was basically a lowlife who had the shortterm ability to con me into marriage (I am guilty of making stupid life decisions...but this was half a lifetime ago!). For me it was a BARGAIN to receive no money from this creep, and preserve my life and sanity. I just find it rather disgusting that he boasts he's a "proud father" when he had zero contact with his son from the age of 6 weeks through the age of 21. An absolute moron. Anyway, I never vented about this situation in public as I am, that's the end of it for me. Thank you for your input, and agreed it would be nice if people with a little expertise would answer versus folks just saying anything that comes to mind.

Perhaps, if ever confronted by somewhat similar circumstances in the future, or know of anyone who is, you might want to consider legal counsel. Even Legal Aid could have kept you and your ex at a distance, and accomplished receiving some child support all these years, as I am sure it was not easy for you to raise you son.

But, it appears that both of you have survived and even flourished.

Best wishes to you and your participation here on WebAnswers.