A child that young wouldn't come up with that on their own. As far as the arrest, you could tell your child the truth, you didn't have her arrested, that's up to a judge, and that no of course you'd never have hit their mother and you don't understand why she'd say that.

If it continues, you may want to petition the courts for supervised visits, because putting that kind of emotional stress on a small child could be construed as abusive.

I certainly wouldn't discuss it with the ex, it may just spur her to do more if she's getting a reaction out of you.

I am sorry you are having to go through this. When you talk to your sons, just keep it short and simple. Say something like,"sometimes people say things that are not true. Mommie is having some problems right now and she has been saying things that are not true. You know me, and you know I would never do the kind of things she is talking about, so don't worry about anything she says". As your boys get older, your integrity will speak for itself, as will their mom's behavior. I know it is hard for you to wait for that time to come, but based on your wife's behavior, she may not be spending time with them all that often anyhow. If it really becomes burdensome for the boys perhaps you can have them see a family counselor.

As far as your EX goes, it seems that she may be emotionally, psychologically imbalanced so I doubt you will be able to reason with her. At the most, I would say, "I never say negative things about you to our boys and I would appreciate it if you would not talk to them about me in a negative way because it causes anxiety and confusion. We both love our kids and we don't want to do anything that could hurt them in any way."

Blessings to you and your sons.

I'm sorry to say but you will have to tell your children that sometimes adults lie and it is not right. They will have to understand that what their mother is doing is not okay.

You may want to keep records of all the things your ex is telling the kids. Then report to the court that she is not meeting the visitation agreement-hopefully this visitation is on paper.if this continues you may want to request these visits are supervised unless if an overnight visit-what she is doing is abuse to the children-you may want to think about notifying the children welfare offices to make a report on your ex.

I have an ex baby daddy i got a four year old and a 4 mth. youngest not his but my boy lives w me and i have full coustdy but i let him c him at anytime i would not take child support from him or nothing we get along great but my boy when i go to pick him up he screams to stay w daddy i hate myself for it it makes me feel so bad but if i was dealing with your problem id sit the kids down w the mom and talk about why you had to split and explain to the kids remember its mommy to them there still babys they dont understand it but id say your mom is mad because she cant keep youns and she takes it out bytrying to turn you both aginst and if she is lieing to them tell them what lieing is and explain that she is just doing that to turn them aginst you ask them if they ever saw you hit her and all what she told them and say ok then there you go your mommy dont like me so she wants you both to not like me and then say who feeds you who takes you to school bathes you meee not mommy so think about who to trust and belive when i was a child my mom tryed to turn me from my daddy but she was honest he has been in prision all my life i dont ven know him as dad but to a kid mommy is everything and some kids will just always take moms side but one day when they understand her more they will see and they will remember who did for them and who didnt you can not get anything done without communication just sit down family style and talk it out or just dont let the kids see her no more if she is trying to keep that crap up theres no need for that good luck sweetheart