I am not sure what the State of Tennessee does about things like this, but it surely sounds like total "abandonment" to me. What with drug addiction and jail sentences, this man clearly could not serve as an adequate father for your child. He might have been so strung out on drugs that he lacked any intent to "abandon." But the fact is, he was out of the picture, either intentionally or unintentionally and you had to shoulder the load all alone.

The idea of your having to make a trip to another state for his convenience is absolutely outrageous.

If he has sobered up and can get a haircut and shave and wear some clean clothes, it wouldn't hurt to have him make a visit to you, but only under very controlled circumstances.

I know from reading that sometimes courts will order a "supervised" visit when they suspect that something might go wrong or become embarrassing for the child.

But he would have to arrange to come to see you, not you go to see him. And he never should just "drop in" unannounced. This should be a very careful meeting, planned well in advance, and with other responsible people present.

Under the terms of Tennessee Code Annotated § 36-1-102, grounds for abandonment do not exist in this particular case.

The only plausible way of terminating his parental rights would be if the man who your daughter calls "Daddy" were to marry "Mommy", and "Daddy" then sought to adopt your daughter. While the child's father would likely oppose the petition, he would have to travel to Tennessee to do so and explain his absence all these years.

Although he pays child support, it not mattering under what coercion he is doing so, it is possible for a judge to decide against him under the "best interest of the child" doctrine, given his other deficiencies.

You may wish to consult a COMPETENT Tennessee family law attorney BEFORE proceeding.

Thank you for your question.